Keeping Faith When Those You Love Walk Away

Watching someone we love distance themselves from us and/or our loved ones, especially when it’s away from our kids—or worse, from their faith—is a different kind of heartbreak. It often leaves us questioning our worth, if we ever even mattered, our prayers, and even God’s timing. When the people who once stood beside us are no longer there, the silence can feel deafening.

However, these seasons of loss are often where our faith is refocused from a "group" experience into a deeply personal, unshakable foundation. We turn to God and our personal relationship with Him.

There are some steps we take to help with that.

1. Shift Our Focus Upward, Not Outward

In his blog post, The Focus on Negativity and Being Without, Chris, aka Donk, notes that we often suffer because we focus on the "one thing we don’t have" rather than what God has provided. When a loved one walks away, it is easy to let their absence become the center of what we're feeling and thinking.

While the pain is real, our stability cannot be rooted in the presence of others. It must be rooted in God. God is the only constant. By shifting our focus back to His character and away from theirs, we are reminding ourselves that while people are changeable, His promises are not. God is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow.

Hebrews 13:8: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever".

2. Recognize the Power of Free Will

It is a difficult truth to swallow, but God gives each of us the freedom to choose our own path. Even Jesus experienced this; many followed Him only while He provided miracles and things were easy, but walked away when His message became too "hard” for them to accept.

If those we love have walked away, remember that we are not responsible for their choices—only for how we react to their choices and to our own obedience. We cannot "play God" by trying to control their heart. Instead, trust that the same God who is pursuing us is also capable of pursuing them in ways we cannot see.

Deuteronomy 30:19: "I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live."

3. Practice "Lament" Without Losing Hope

Faith doesn't mean pretending it doesn't hurt. I tell my kids it’s ok to not be ok, but, it’s not ok to stay that way. Scriptural faith often involves feeling grief and strife all while crying out to God in honesty.

Be honest about the void they left. Be honest about the lostness you are feeling because they left, the emptiness, abandonment. We need to be honest about whatever feelings we are feeling about that situation.

We need to bring our anger, feelings of being rejected and our sadness to the altar.

Trust the silence. Just because we don’t see God working in their life or ours right now doesn’t mean He has stopped.

Remember that sometimes God places people in our lives for a reason and/or for a season. We must trust in God during those season changes, just like we trust Him when winter turns to spring and spring into summer. Our relationships and circumstances can be part of God's plan just for a short time so we can learn and grow. There’s always some lesson we can take away from each season of life. Focusing on this positive instead of the negativity can be a great help in trusting that God has our backs no matter what.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

4. Walk in Love and Correction

As mentioned in the previous Table Talk blog, walking in love often involves "more correction than we appreciate." Sometimes, the best way to keep our faith is to continue living a life of integrity and joy despite the abandonment. Our steadfastness becomes a living testimony. (side note: Integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.)

If we want to change the "negativity" of our current situation, we must change our focus. Instead of looking at the empty seat at the table, look to the Divine. We need to pray for those who have hurt us and for our own healing with a heart of peace. Love them and love ourselves all while continuing to walk in faith. Remember, our true worth is in God not man.

Matthew 5:44: "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".

Luke 6:28: "Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you".

Romans 12:14: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them".

Galatians 1:10 : “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Final Thought:

Our faith is not a byproduct of our relationships; it is a gift from God. When the people we love walk away, we need to let it be the act that drives us deeper into the arms of the One who promised He would never leave nor forsake us. God has a bigger plan for us. He sees what we don’t. Trust in Him and His words. He will never leave us.

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”